My bleed arrived early Sunday morning ~ a bittersweet occurrence as someone who is healing hormonal imbalances and PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).
For the first 10 years of my cycle, my menstrual bleeds were absent, so receiving my bleed now feels very important and affirming that I am nourishing my body. And yet, my bleeds come with debilitating pain that leads to fear and resistance.
On Sunday, for the first time, I fully surrendered all my plans and gave myself space to feel into the experience and to do whatever felt right for my body.
I planned to have an intense morning work out ~ instead I had a light yoga practice.
I planned to go for a walk (which is a mission where I live now) ~ instead I laid in the sun.
I planned to eat breakfast ~ instead I had water and a herbal infusion.
I planned to get a lot work done for my course ~ instead I took a nap/laid down.
Each time I felt cramps coming, I allowed them to be here without resistance, and they transformed from crashing waves to trickling streams.
This is the first bleed that I allowed my body to fully guide me.
This is the first bleed that I invoked courage to feel everything and softness to allow whatever comes.
This is the first bleed I embodied patience for however the path unfolds.
This is the first bleed I let go of what I thought I should be doing.
This is the first bleed I did not have excruciating pain.
This is the first bleed I have felt fully at peace within my bleeding Being.
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